Posted on / by Jon

New Dad Experience… The Untold Story


So I’m a dad! It’s pretty crazy. I have a little girl that I get to take care of. It’s been a pretty surreal couple days. Between Shal giving birth, spending 2 days in the hospital and trying to settle in at home, time moves pretty quickly. And it turns out there is lots that people don’t tell ya. That’s what this blog is about.

But first things first! LOOK HOW FREAKING CUTE!!!!!

But here is what I have learned in the last few days. You hear all the time about dad’s struggling to bond with their kids. That it takes some extra time. Now it is all true that mommy has gotten to feel the child moving the whole time, gave birth to them, nurses them and just automatically has built in bonding mechanisms. But it is for sure not mom’s fault. I for sure am not jealous that I cannot nurse my little girl.

But while everything is going on in those first 2 days, here is what I learned. Dad is a second class citizen. I loved caring for my wife and watching my kid being born and all that (which is cool, not beautiful! But that’s a separate blog.). I’m glad nurses and doctors are making sure that both of them are supremely safe and taken care of.

And wow was I thought of as unnecessary. All 2 days, most of the doctors and nurses legitimately ignored me. And if they didn’t ignore me, they gave me a weird look and then turned from me and only talked to Shal. I had to pay a lot of attention to hear about things I thought would probably be important that both of us know. The only time they did speak directly to me is if I was the only one there.

Problem #2. It took forever for me to get some time with Mika. Every time I got a moment to hold her, someone took her away from me. I’d have her for 2 seconds and a nurse would have to check her. I’d have a minute and grandma steals her. The first time I spent any real time with her was the first night we got her home. She was crying so I got to sit up with her and calm her down and hang out for about an hour. It was the first uninterrupted time I had with her. I wasn’t even the first one to hold her after Shal. Sha’s mom took her.

So my joy of being a dad has been mixed with frustration a little bit. I’m a little unsure of what to do with myself or how to help at times. It’s getting better though. I’ve gotten some good time with her since last night. Gotten to listen to some worship with her and take great pictures and hold her for more than 3 seconds.

I do have a thank you though. To all my friends who came to visit, thanks for making me feel like I matter in this whole process. You made all of us feel very loved.

And back to the main point. My daughter is freaking adorable and I love her a ton already. Praying she knows how much we love her, that she knows how much Jesus loves her and comes to know him early. So one last pic. 🙂mika1